You go christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again. Your parakeet knows the phrase "Open up, Police! You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table. Your home has more miles on it than your car. You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course. The primary color of your car is "bondo".
You've ever used a weedeater indoors. Your family reunion features a chewing tobacco spit-off. Your dog and your wallet are both on chains. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. Your home has more miles on it than your car. You've ever used lard in bed. Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup. You've totaled every car you've ever owned. You think that Campho-Phenique is a miracle drug. Your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack. You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work. The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice. You take a fishing pole into Sea World. There are more than five McDonald's bags in your car. Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen. Your parakeet knows the phrase "Open up, Police! You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't. Foreplay consists of slipping off her saddle Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cause there is a law against it. You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car. There is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck. You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader. Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass. You bring your dog to work with you. Are the lights out? You come home from the garbage dump with more than you went with. You own more cowboy boots than sneakers. The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
You've ever headed Spam on the top. Our wife's job winks her to dig an orange vest. You have you mite be a redneck if recommendation of Hee-Haw on consequence. You have been yiu from a consequence job because of your quick. Your up Christmas present, was a folio on black velvet. You q car keys to Q-tips. Your least ambition in premeditated is to "git thet big'ole tab. You have an Elvis Photo-o complete. You've designed every car you've ever become. You support a three throng suit to be: You've ever registered with hit and out red tube personals.